my response to matt forney

When I initially read the recently-gone-viral post “The Case Against Female Self-Esteem” by a guy named Matt Forney, I was viscerally upset, so I closed the tab on my laptop and decided not to look at it again.  I waited about four seconds before I re-opened it and read it again.  I posted it to Facebook with a very short description of my feelings on it: something to the effect of “I don’t think this post is a joke, but I wish it were,” albeit in more Facebook-friendly English. As people began to comment on my Facebook post, I ended up re-reading Forney’s post yet again, and I realized I had to write something in response.  While at first I had been so overwhelmed that I just didn’t know where to start with a response, I had some temporal distance from my first reading now, and I figured I could go bit by bit through Forney’s writing and respond, if only for my own sake.

After his small graphic introduction about his own physical reactions to a girl’s “bragging” of confidence, I thought nothing more than that he seemed like an unenlightened person who does not put much thought into his own actions; someone who would, of course bang someone who has a repellent personality does not strike me as a person who cares too much about their own personal doings.  I don’t want to say that as a blanket statement, because if he said that physical attraction of a girl’s body can sometimes trump all else for him and he just gives into desire, I could understand.  But his use of “of course” emphasizes to me that this is a central part of his attitude towards life, towards his life, towards himself, ultimately.

Ok, so not a particularly thought-driven person. Not someone I would interact with by choice. Fine, moving on. Next paragraph…he just kicks it way up.  I was completely blown away by his nonchalant mention of suicide and the fact that he basically expressed the sentiment that he would like to have half of the world’s population exist at a level only just above suicide. Half of the population of the world.  Just barely above killing themselves.  Think about that for a moment.  Just let that sink in…there was a huge what-the-fuck red flag waving in my face if I ever saw one.

His phrase “man with a vagina” is an interesting one.  It demonstrates a lack of understanding of the separation of gender and sex, a lack which is not all that surprising, given the context, I suppose. Still, noted.

Next, we have a call to action, for a war to be waged against female self-esteem. Wow. I’m not going to touch that quite yet—just didn’t want you to think I missed it.

Forney’s next paragraph is notably contradictory (content aside, it simply does  not make any logical sense).  First he mentions how girls are “bombarded with propaganda” that boosts their self-esteem (which, on a side note, could hardly be further from the truth).  He says they are told how special they are because of their sex, their inherent nature as girls (“because they have an extra X chromosome,” “merely for existing”).  Next, he contradicts himself, saying that girls are (direct quote) “encouraged to derive self-worth not from their inherent feminine nature but from their college degree, their job”, etc.  So which is it, Forney? (Hint: either way, you’re pretty far off base.)

I’m not going to go through every sentence of the rest of his tripe-ridden post, but I will say this: Matt Forney, you sound very sad.  It upset me to read this post of yours, and it scared me.  I cannot imagine that anyone who desires another person to live and die for him, to be so vulnerable as to literally not be able to survive alone, can be very confident himself.  I challenge you to perhaps look at yourself, and see if maybe there is some loving that needs to be had there.  A confident person should not be a threat, nor a turn-off. 

A person who is happy and well-adjusted to the world is not necessarily one who shows no emotional need.  On the contrary, I rather find the strongest people, the most confident, are those who can also show their emotional vulnerability, who are willing to let others in so that they can grow. But this vulnerability is not the same strain Forney claims to lust after; it is a strength, borne of a person with a strong soul and, yes…confidence.

P.S. Not all women are into men.  But I suppose that entire section of humankind is just another group of men with vaginas, along with any of us feminists who do prefer the guys? Cool…I learned a whole lot today.



7 thoughts on “my response to matt forney

  1. How to write a feminist post online

    Inferiority complex;
    Ignorance of the last 10,000 years of civilisation;
    Abusive personality;
    A boyfriend of girlfriend – may be fictional;
    One six-sided dice.

    Time to prepare:
    3-5 minutes.

    As each Internet forum has a fixed number of IQ points, distributed evenly to all their members (no matter how many): 30-50 Red Pillers, or 50,000-1,000,000 feminists.

    1. Throw dice. If the result is 1 or 6, ignore ‘create a new paragraph’ instructions.
    2. Enter some porn starlet’s name as your own. Ignore people sniggering at the Freudian implications of this.
    3. Throw dice again. If the result is 1, write a line declaring surprise/shock – ‘what the fuck’ works well – as, due to your inferiority complex, you can’t handle anybody suggesting you’re not absolutely perfect, then create a new paragraph.
    4. Write a line consisting of [ad hominem insult]. [ad hominem insult]. [possible third ad hominem insult]. The less coherent (and the more small words) the better, since you’re sure your opponents are as illiterate as you are.
    5. Throw dice again. If the result is an even number, return to 4.
    6. Throw dice again. If the result is not 6, write a line containing a NAWALT claim, using your total lack of knowledge of the evidence gathered over the last 10,000 years, then continue the line with some emotional ‘argument’ – which ironically proves AWALT – and create a new paragraph.
    7. Throw dice again. If the result is 1 or 6, write an insulting description of your (possibly imaginary) boyfriend or girlfriend, telling the whole world how abusive you are to them, how much they thank you for it, etc. The more you demonstrate what a pathetic doormat he/she is to you, the better.
    8. Throw dice again. If the result is an even number, create new pargraph, and return to 4.
    9. Throw dice again. If the result is 3, 4, 5 or 6, write a wish for bodily harm to come to the OP, and hope that everybody’s too stupid to notice how this blows the ‘we liberals are sooooo tolerant’ claim out of the water.
    10. Throw dice again. If the result is not 6, randomly replace 10% of the words in the post with vulgarities that lost their impact in the third grade, and similarly childish references to human genitalia.
    11. Convince yourself that your pseudo-intellectual diarrhoea will improve the world in the slightest, and press Submit.

    • For every comment posted to my blog, I’m asked to “approve” or “mark as spam.” I’ve decided to approve, because this sort of comment doesn’t make me look bad…it’s a reflection on the person who wrote it, really, I think. Thank you for stopping by, even if you didn’t particularly facilitate dialogue!
      I think you’ll find, by the way, that posting the same long, detailed (and quite offensive, I might add) comment to every person’s negative response to forney does not always work…many of your components will often not apply. perhaps you could give me a comment that pertains to my post, only?

      • > For every comment posted to my blog, I’m asked to “approve” or “mark as spam.”

        I wasn’t born yesterday – everybody in the manosphere, and an increasing number of blue pillers, know how feminist blogs are run.

        > I’ve decided to approve, because this sort of comment doesn’t make me look bad…

        It wasn’t designed to. It’s to give a little push to those who are right at the edge of making themselves look bad.

        My hat off to you for your bravery, not to mention facilitating mef offending Julia below.

        > it’s a reflection on the person who wrote it, really, I think.

        In a twisted way, you’re quite right. Maybe I chose the wrong blog to troll – you may actually be human.

        > I think you’ll find, by the way, that posting the same long, detailed (and quite offensive, I might add) comment to every person’s negative response to forney does not always work… many of your components will often not apply.

        Oh please – read the posts on Forney’s blog. 90%-plus of the comments fit my ‘recipe’ exactly. Which is why I sought entertainment from it. As the long-silent Dick Masterson once said (I have no doubt he pilfered it, though):

        “Female anger is the weathervane of truth.”

  2. His post made me want to hit something. Changing the subject to something almost equally disturbing, I’ve come across a lot of videos recently (from girls) proclaiming that they are anti-feminists because they say sexism does not exist anymore. Just take a look at the channel:

    Either they have led extremely privileged lives or they are blind. I found this almost more upsetting.

    • Thanks, Julia! I definitely have been noticing that sentiment creeping up, and it scares me, too. Like you say, it’s almost more disturbing.
      Watching just the first video on that channel, I get the feeling that perhaps they have a very skewed idea of what feminism is. It’s certainly not, in my opinion and practice, a man-bashing, self-victimizing way of thought or living. Thanks again for stopping by!

    • Then it served its function – I want everyone to see how feminists really are. And if a few keypresses from the comfort of my own home does it, all the better.

  3. I felt exactly the same way after reading Matt’s essay, or rather his whiny bitching. And I don’t care how many anti-feminists call me out for saying that, I will stand by it. I’m glad there are others who feel the same way as I do.

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